Celebrate Bracelet

By Tonya Stanfield

“Stay close to anything that makes you glad you’re alive.”

Hafez

We are probably the only office on earth that celebrates divorces from abusive husbands, sobriety milestones, student driving permits, and adult GED’s. We also celebrate the usual culprits: birthdays and babies and finishing sewing skills courses. It’s a regular week when the cupcakes come out and words of affirmation are shared around our giant lunch table. 

“Take time to celebrate the miracles that seek no attention.” – John O’Donahue

I firmly believe celebration is not only for big moments in life; it should be a daily occurrence. How many times have children across the world been celebrated for eating their broccoli or putting away their toys without being asked?  “Great job!” “I’m so proud of you!”  It takes 30 seconds to pump them so full of affirmation their faces squish into cheeky smiles. Scientifically, their smiles are due to sustained attention on their little accomplishment just long enough for their brains to receive a hit of dopamine – the feel-good chemical.

Did you know folks with ADHD do not get that hit of dopamine when they complete a task? That’s why I encourage my own ADHD kid to stand up and do a little dance every time an assignment gets finished. Most of the time we buzz through life like we have ADHD, whipping from one task to another, never taking a moment to celebrate what we’ve just done. Did you do well on that presentation? Did you finish your taxes? Were you there for a friend who needed you? Did you FINALLY fix that thing your spouse has been NAGGING you about?  Have you taken a moment to celebrate yourself before you move on to the next thing on your checklist? Probably not. There are so many hidden moments of daily joy waiting for us to notice them.

Thich Nhat Hanh said the miracles of life are always available to us. The question is: “Are we available?”

The butterfly hug is more than a cute name; it’s a powerful practice. (It’s also a less embarrassing way to celebrate during your day than dancing at your desk.) Originally designed for trauma survivors, the butterfly hug will integrate positive emotions into your body and brain. Rather than allowing your thoughts to skim the surface of your daily life, this hug will help you focus inward, reconnect with your body, and deepen the present moment. Crossing your arms stimulates a sense of safety and being held (which is why this works for trauma survivors). Rhythmic tapping of your shoulders balances your nervous system, promoting calm. Holding onto something worth celebrating for just 30 seconds releases a hit of dopamine.

Every time you practice this hug, a neural pathway towards joy and satisfaction is being strengthened. With habitual practice, you’ll literally become a more joyful, fulfilled person. How can I say that? It’s because that’s simply how habitual practices work in our bodies and brains. Neuroscientist Dr. Curt Thompson stated: “…our brains were created with beautiful and mysterious plasticity. That means our neurons can be redirected in a way that correlates with joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Instead of automatically following the wired sequence of our old memory, with reflection, we can choose to create new pathways…” So, you can choose joy after all. But, if you want to become a more joyful person, you have to do habitual practices like this one, at least 30 seconds at a time, over many months. Why not get started with the Butterfly Hug?

 “Each day holes a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us…”  -Henri Nouwen

Celebrate Bracelet Practice: The Butterfly Hug

Bead group 1 – Take a few deep breaths and bring a positive memory or accomplishment to mind.

Bead group 2 – Cross your arms and place your hands between your shoulders and collarbones while you continue to breathe deeply. You can even hook your thumbs together forming the shape of a butterfly with your hands.

Bead group 3 – Alternate tapping your hands for 30 seconds while focusing on that memory. Try to feel the pleasure, pride, or joy of it in in your body. 

Further Resources: 

 Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising connections between neuroscience and spiritual practices that can transform your life and relationships. By Dr. Curt Thompson.