Trauma-Informed Workplace

Rewiring Your Nervous System with Love (Part 1)

“We see things and people not as they are, but as we are.” – Anthony de Mello

Did you know you wear a bespoke, one-of-kind, pair of lenses through which you view the world? We all do! Our experience of the world is created by our cultures, families, languages, religions, personal events, etc.. (Just to name a few.) But often, the lens we are least aware of is the one created by our own nervous system.

Am I Safe or Not?

At every second of every day, the state of your nervous system is subconsciously interpreting every interaction you have. Am I safe? Am I in danger? Are they threatening? Are they safe? Like your heart beats without your awareness; a part of your brain is dedicated to constantly analyzing threats (real or imagined) … and reacting.  

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Viktor Frankle

It's our duty to regulate our nervous system

At Not I But We, we talk a lot about rewiring our nervous systems with love. We have to. We have an office full of survivors of human trafficking; therefore, we have an office full of dysregulated nervous systems forever on high alert, ready to react to any threat (real or not so real).

However, I bet your office isn’t that different. Have you ever worked for a boss whose reactions were unpredictable and over-the-top? Have you ever held your cool in a tense situation only to get home and take it out on the ones you love the most?

At NIBW, we understand that one of the greatest gifts we can give another is our balanced and regulated nervous system.

How does a trauma-informed workplace look like?

When we moved into our first official workspace, we had sewing machines, not enough furniture, and lots of great values and high ideals about all a trauma-informed office could be. Of course, we also have people in our office. And people, any people, mean drama. Now add in the trauma of trafficking, overcoming addictions, battling court cases, and recreating new lives from scratch and drama becomes D.R.A.M.A.! Yes, the sparks flew in those early days! 

Sure, we solidified our code of conduct, but where we really put our emphasis was on awareness and practices. We introduced the language of nervous system regulation and kitted out our Compassion Room. Honestly, our workspace isn’t large enough, never-the-less we have an entire room dedicated to emotional regulation. It’s got a bean bag, aroma therapy diffuser, soft lighting, tissues, a mindful colouring book, and suggested ways to bring your nervous system back into a balanced state. We tried making centering times mandatory (with mixed success) and had one fairly hectic informational seminar. In the end, we figured the best way to help our survivor/artisans was for the staff to do the learning and commit to daily practices of nervous system regulation and emotional intelligence. Then, we’d offer this in real time as needed, crisis by crisis, day by day, one on one. And, we hoped and waited…

One particular moment

I remember a particularly “sparky” morning for me in the office. I was becoming increasingly dysregulated. One survivor noticed my body language. She motioned for me to come join her at her sewing machine. I sat down and she took both my hands in hers. “Tonya,” she commanded gently, looking me in the eyes. “Just breathe. Inhale… Exhale…” And, together we breathed. Grateful tears pricked my eyes. Her concern turned to laughter. A trafficking survivor was offering me, the Spiritual Director of NIBW, her regulated nervous system.  That was moment I knew what we were attempting might just work. 

Co-Regulation

The amazing thing about our nervous systems is that they interact with other nervous systems. Neuroscientist Dr. Curt Thompson says, “There’s no such thing as an individual brain.” Whenever we are in connection with another human (or animal), our nervous systems are communicating together, for better or worse. When we connect to another’s calm, it’s called co-regulation. It’s a miraculous, yet very human ability to attune to another’s needs and offer peace, without saying a word. What a divine and simple way of loving another human!

Would you like to rewire your nervous system with love? The first step is awareness - becoming attuned to its daily fluctuations. Once you become aware of what lens you are wearing (i.e. what nervous system state you are in), then you have ability to work with it rather than stay blindly reactive. (Everyone you live with will thank you. Trust me!)

What state is your nervous system currently in?  Fight, flight, freeze, shutdown, or balance?

Take stock right now: 

1. How are you in your body? On a scale of 1 to 10, what number would you choose?

1 = Fatigued and Lifeless

5 = Calm, Awake, and Present

10 = Jittery and Jumpy

2. How are you in your mind and thoughts?  On a scale of 1 to 10, what number would you choose?

1 = Depressed and Slow

5 = Calm and Present

10 = Anxious and Racing

(Observe without judgement.)

• The further you are below 5, indicates that your nervous system is leaning toward shutdown.
• The higher above 5, indicates your nervous system may be leaning toward fight or flight. 
• If you gave your body a low number, but your mind a high number, you may be in the state of freeze.
• If you are hanging out in midrange numbers, your nervous system is closer to balance.

In this series, I’ll offer you lots of ways to regulate your nervous system, but for now, here’s the same practice our survivor/artisan gave me: Just breathe. 

Inhaling activates your nervous system and exhaling calms it. So, inhale for the count of 4 and exhale for the count of 6. (If you’re leaning toward shutdown, emphasize the inhale.) Do this 3 times or more. Take your time. Fully fill your lungs. Bring your entire awareness to the sensation of your breath flowing through you. You can read this blog which deepens this practice here:  And, maybe you’ll want to buy our BREATHE bracelet, a visual reminder to prioritize rewiring your nervous system with love. 

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.”

 — Etty Hillesum

Written by Tonya Stanfield

Continue learning about how to rewire your nervous system in the second part of our blog post series.